I don’t like this inertia which has slowly crept over me in the month since things settled down here. It bothers me, annoys me too. I’ve been there before, but it’s not as simple as that. I just can’t see a way out of it. I’m starting to understand just how unnaturally stressed out I …
Category Archives: Sad
I wish…
… that I could stop being so afraid of everything. It’s like a disease. I just want to turn my brain off. Then maybe my stomach would stop churning, my appetite would come back, I would stop feeling so tense and hunched and stressed. I have the keys to my new place, and I am …
A thought to ponder…
You’ll never know all the lucky escapes you had: only the ones you didn’t. Perhaps I should be more grateful for the times I was saved from some fantastically stupid choice, person, situation, whatever. I spend so much time lamenting the things I wish I hadn’t done, or the things I didn’t do and wish …
Yes, yes and yes
This person is me, they are me, I am them. Finally, I’ve found someone who says it so much better that I’m actually happy to be reading their words, because it means I understand. Sometimes you have to see things from the outside, I guess. Can’t afford to stay, can’t afford to leave
Stand in love, take my hand and love
Okay… So although my mum may have looked at my blog, it seems she is not what you would call a regular reader. That’s alright then. *scowls* Which brings us to: Latest news! My bell tent arrived, I originally took a gamble and ordered from a company called Obelink based in the Netherlands, they are …
NaNoing again
Surely it can’t be November 1st already? And yet somehow, it is… how crazy. I have started my novel with only a slight notion of what it is about. But – I’ve started, and that’s the main thing. 400 and something words typed while the small dude was having his morning porridge I feel so …
Realization
I feel like I’m moving closer and closer to clarity and understanding when it comes to a particular friendship. I say friendship… it is both so much more and so much less than that. Was so much more – and is now so much less, than friendship. Talking recently on the phone, he said he …
Is it just me or… is there a feeling of dread around here?
Seriously. Is it just me? Others I know personally seem to be having a similar time, but I don’t know… It’s hard to tell sometimes. I’m not talking about when you wake up in the middle of the night and your mind wanders uneasily. When you feel alone in the darkness, like the only person …
Well, hello there
I haven’t written here in a long time, but I find myself drawn back to post here every so often, like tonight when I feel sad and lost but don’t understand why. Or, in some ways I do understand. The other night I was feeling tense but had no idea why, so I started mentally …
We’ll collect those lonely parts and set them down
Lately I feel that I miss the girl I used to be, now that I know for sure that I’ll never go back to being her again. I don’t even necessarily want to be her, just sometimes feel a little wistfulness for myself a year or so ago. I remember being into kitsch stuff and …