All sorts of interesting things are happening that I don’t feel like writing about just now, but I didn’t want my last post to sit up here for days and days, exuding sadness. Else, maybe anyone dropping by here would think I had done nothing but be sad since writing it, and that wouldn’t be …
Monthly Archives: April 2007
At least she understands now what it’s like to be afraid to use the underground
So my mum ran into my ex today. Rob. The one who was dating me for about four months until he suddenly stopped talking to me, just like that. And then had the cheek to spout the – obviously well rehearsed – line: “I guess we just drifted apart, huh?” at me when I saw …
Who are you?
Last night my dreams were interesting, and I actually remembered some of them on waking. Just before I woke up, I dreamed of an old schoolfriend – and that’s a LONG time ago, seeing as I haven’t been to school since I was nine. His name was Robin and he was always the one who …
File me away, in your heart someday
This morning when I woke up it was completely quiet. It took me a moment to realise where I was and that everything was okay, because in London the noise is there constantly, whatever else is going on. When it’s taken away, it feels like something bad has happened. But it was just Sunday morning. …
I remember what wanting to write is like
I think I’ve broken the writers block I didn’t quite know I had. I can tell this because I want to write things. Nifty, eh? I’ve spent most of the day lounging around making my hair look pretty and listening to pretentious music. My DVD of Heavenly Creatures arrived so I watched that (it was …
When I daydream, the whole world shrinks around me; one blurry circle
When I used to work in a library, I would scribble notes to myself during quiet moments on the counter. Ideas, or people who I wanted to remember, or things I overheard. Clearing out my desk the other day yielded a flurry of these notelets, neatly folded white squares of paper that exploded out of …
I’m sorry
I’m sorry for the yellow tear stains I discovered on the pillow after I changed the case. You were already on your way home, and even if you had been here I don’t know what I would have said. I’m sorry that on the night I held your hand as you cried on the floor …
Self flagellation
It should be easy to stop mentally beating yourself up, right? It should be the desired course of action. And somewhere inside me there is a little Vicky who is bright and sassy and in control. She can make things happen, make me decide to feel alright, make me stop welling up, make me stop …
Quote of the Day
Few Adored Ones ever end up un-adored. There’s something there — something that you alone see in them which makes them stand out from the mundanes. Quite possibly you saw it before you even really knew them. Distance and time may dull your attunement to their glory, but a hint of it, at least, will …
Is anyone else’s dream life exploding into a frenzy of violence? No? Must be just me then…
God Almighty, my dreams are getting weird lately. This morning I tried to tell my mum about one of them: “Hey, last night I dreamed I was in a warehouse with a scary man who looked a little bit like John Travolta. There was a table between us and he was coming towards me, looking …