Lost in Thought

Funny, I realized recently that its been a little while since I last posted. Sometimes I have all these words that flow out of me, and then sometimes I can’t type words in order, the keys just aren’t my friends and I have to hunt and peck. Perhaps I’m getting very early onset dementia. Oh well.

I went to my first OU tutorial recently, for my new childrens lit course. I had to pluck up the courage to go, because… well, once you are in the habit of not doing something, it’s hard to convince yourself you should change. Especially for someone like me, a recently out of the closet Introvert, with a capital I. I do not DO gatherings of people. I think I posted about that not so long ago.

Anyway, it was fine, really fine. I don’t know why. I think because I gave myself a stern talking to beforehand, reminded me to just be myself, not care if it was vile, that I didn’t have to go again. It reminded me of the time I had a job interview at Battersea Dogs Home, and I knew I was moving house and wouldn’t be able to take a job there, but went along anyway because I was nosy. I was so relaxed and jokey, because I didn’t care, and I got called back for a training day or whatever it was. The tutorial was a bit like that. I didn’t have lots invested, so I was able to be my normal, cheery self – instead of dissolving into a puddle of blushing, eyes-on-the-floor, stammering defensive waffling. God, I hate it when I slip into that mode. So, I didn’t and it was fine. There are so many female, middle aged junior school teachers doing this course, its funny…
I’ve never seen an Open University student before. Apart from Lenny Henry on the telly. They were all so… well, normal. In fact, there was an autistic/dyslexic/something not quite right about him person out front when I arrived, talking to one of the women on my course. And I was all: “Oh great, here we go. All OU students are nerds, argh…” but then he shook us all formally by the hand, bid us good day and wandered off. He was ranting about Link Into Learning – how he only gets one day a week, and how is he supposed to learn to read and write in one day a week? He was a nice man, he had kind eyes. In a way, when he walked off, I was disappointed. There was my cliche, disappearing down the street, and probably also one of the most interesting, outspoken people there. Life is funny sometimes.