Lost in Thought

It seems to have crept up on me. I have a stinker of an assignment due in 3 days, two days really because I want to get it submitted tomorrow night. After that though, I’m going to stop stressing and enjoy myself.

Various things have or haven’t happened in November. My novel got to 20k, but I had to abandon it there due to lack of time. Other projects took priority, but I can’t talk about that because they are christmas present-oriented
My friend who is always the one I blog about on here, was quite nasty, and then went awol. He seems to find the fact I am hurt by his behaviour hurtful. Or maybe he has his own reasons. Probably a bit of both. I am starting to really understand that he has a mental illness, most likely bipolar. He seems to rapid cycle though. I want to tell him to get help, but I don’t think anyone has had success being honest with him in the past. So I mailed out the christmas parcel I had already prepared for him before he was mean, and now I think I’m just going to leave it. I can’t let him take out his shit on me anymore: I have a child now. I need to be happy and healthy for my son, and I don’t want to be locked in a toxic friendship anymore.

I still think he has a beautiful soul. I’m glad I got to tell him that, because it’s true. There’s just so much shit overlaid that its sometimes hard to see. But I see it.
I saw his future once, about a year ago. I am not normally psychic, but I just got this one flash. It made me sad, but it seemed real as well. I used to like to think I could save him from the fate worse than death: endless bitterness towards all humanity. But my flash seems to indicate otherwise. Really, what everyone knows when they are dealing with a bipolar person is that no-one can save that person, except for themselves. That’s a hard lesson to learn, as a friend. I think I am learning it right now.
And so, I stay away: to keep myself and my beautiful, amazing family safe.